Job Application

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in NY... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.

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Wahai Zubir yang sengal...

Ini bukan personal attack! Tapi AkU sangat bengang tahap badak gedempol kat Zubir Teropong. Kenal tak Zubir Teropong ni sapa? Ala kalau korang baca paper BiPop tiap2 ahad tu, ada satu kolum gosip yg gambar mamat gemok gedempol pegang teropong (kalau tak salah AkU la). Mamat ni kan, dia claimed dia ni entertainment journalist . Masalahnye tiap2 kali AkU baca artikel dia, AkU hangin la sangat dengan bahasa dia@ayat yang dia tulis. Cthnye: '"Bagi Zubir mudah saja, pandai makan pandai simpan, tapi selebriti popular itu bangang, dah tahu muka ‘pasport’, pergilah buang anak kat luar negara, boy friend awak tu kan ke orang kaya, apa ada hal! " Korang bayangkan, entertainment journalist pakai bahasa macam ni utk tontonan orang awam. Gila ke apa? Ko takde bahasa elok sikit ke yang ko bole pakai masa ko construct ayat ko tu. And furthermore, ko encourage orang buat masalah asalkan pandai makan pandai simpan. Teruknyeee ko ni (dgn bahasa ko sekali). Wei Zubir, AkU rasa baik ko letak jawatan skrg, jgn claim ko tu reporter, and then pegi masuk HR balik (Dia ni tak qualified nye journalist, dulu keje exec kat HR je.). Buat malu reporter lain jek la ko ni. AkU lagi rela baca kolum Raja Mawar yg informative with fair comment daripada ko yg asyik nak hentam orang je. Eh AkU ni, tak pasal2 je nak emo, hehehe.

AkU : Bukan personal attack konon :P

Plain coffee and strawberry shortcake

Our life is unpredictable. We've only lived likely about quarter of a decade, but yet we had gone through many phases of our life, which some of them were bitter than plain coffee and some of them even sweeter than strawberry shortcake. And what makes these two fellows a good pair, is due to the fact that they can mix well in our mouth and able to blend together before we swallow them into our throat. But before allowing them to go into our throat, we are actually giving an opportunity for our tongue to taste variety of flavor and producing one kind of satisfaction that we could never gain anywhere. The satisfaction of enjoying both bitterness and sweetness that makes us appreciate the creation of coffee and cake thus be grateful that we have learned how the tastes like. Therefore, we should appreciate all the bitterness & sweetness that we have faced before, now and even in future because this is how we live, and this is how we survived ;)

Doing the things that needs doing

This is a hidden post =P



* Courtesy of Chicken Soup for the Single's Soul

Games

Lately i've felt very passionate about computer games. Almost every day i will look up for new games released and will download them immediately if the games suit my tastes. And since every game is a trial version, i will start look up for its crack through torrents which then will take some time as i need to make sure the cracks are free virus. However, these games are just very small capacity which is less than 150 MB, not like the DVD games which sometimes utilize more than 3 GB of hard disk space. FYI, all games that i downloaded are available in here : Reflexive Games. So you guys who also have same passion as mine might want to have a look at this webby and feel free to download games of your interest. But bear in mind please find the crack by yourself as i will not entertain any request to share the cracks hahaha =P. Good Luck!

P/S: Wait for my review of every game that i've completed ;)

Thousand and Thousand and Thousand apologizes

Finally! Phewww! This week has been a very very hectic moment for me, in fact this is the first time i access my blog since last week. Well well well.. before i proceed, i shall introduce u guys to another new writer -GUA!. Yeayyy, finally he accepted my invitation to write his thoughts in this beloved blog =D. He will be my guess writer once in a blue moon, and usually things will get hotter once he start writing =P. Another thing, please please please.. accept my apology for not replying any of your comments within this week :( . In future i will try to respond to any of your comment as soon as my PC starts operating (and off course the internet must be connected hehe). OK let me spend some time to read all of your comments and i will come back ;).

Salam GuA Pembuka Bicara

salam GuA pembuka bicara.

GuA dah bosan dgr di corong² radio, di kaca peti² tevee, dititip di mulut² org, ayat² radikal spt ni: "..bdk² skrg ni teruk betul la, dah runtuh akhlaknya. zmn dulu bdk² taat perintah agama, blablaba potpetpotpet tebabooo!!..". adilkah lu org nk hukum manusia mengikut generasi? btl ke tak ada nilai murni pd hari ni?

GuA nk bwk lu org kembali ke 1950an - zmn pra-kemerdekaan. "oh nonaku azizah....". "aku mencintai kau azizah", maka aktor & aktres itu berpelukan sesama sendiri. baju seniwati ni kalau lu org nk tau kebaya yg body-hug takat dada je. then cover dgn kain see thru.

lps tu, mai kta pi ke 1960an - pop yeh yehhhhh. si sarip dok sehari suntuk bersembang kat kedai kopi dgn kwn², main dam aji. topik hangat diorg hari tu: malam sabtu anak pak abu bersanding, apa lg.... joget lambak la sampai ke pagi! member² jantan x kira tua muda sihat uzur bkn main excited lg. "..dpt la aku menari dgn si leha janda berhias tu..... untung² abis menari adjust benda lain pulak!..".

ok tamat. skrg jom blk ke realiti, bumi yg nyata.

GuA xde niat nk tunjuk pndai. GuA pun bdk tgh skolah, alif ba ta pun blm khatam dlm dada. tp sbg insan yg matured, x kira la lu org muda zmn dulu atau skrg, bila tgk isu² semasa jgn la asyik nk mendabik dada membangga. "..GuA dlu xde mcm ni, bapak GuA dlu xde mcm tu..". hak ala, agak² la. kita semua lalui muda, ada jahat kta masing², most probably ikut generasi masing². skrg yg panas mcm isu rempit, lesbian / gay, jenayah pati, .etc suma perlukan lu org & GuA bantu-membantu utk selesaikan. kalau dok nk membebel ckp lebat berkokok, baik la lu org diam - dosa pun kurang. zmn dlu pun ada jugak isu -ve e.g. berlumba kawin plg byk (anak² melarat), mcm² khurafat (mandi safar la, mandi bunga la), judi lumba kuda, .etc yg mna org² muda islam zmn ni dh kurang amalkan i.e. reflect positivity pada pemuda-pemudi kta. GuA stated KURANG. sbb GuA dgn humble akui possible ada yg still buat.

mmg btl, rmai btl org jahat skrg. tp jgn lupa, zmn dlu rmai jugak org jahat. zmn skrg polis kna rush rumah tangkap internet pishing criminal, dlu xde pun. zmn dlu askar dgn berhempas pulas dlm hutan ambush komunis yg cuba menghancurkan negara, skrg alhamdulillah xde. logik kan?

maaf jika GuA terkasar bahasa. GuA mohon kemaafan, mohon ditunjukkan jln. chow.

Maluuuuu

Malunye sayeeeeee!!!!!

Hukum Yoga haram untuk penganut agama islam

Hari ni dengan rasminya Majlis Fatwa Kebangsaan mengumumkan yang senaman yoga adalah diharamkan dengan sebab gerakan fizikan & bacaan mentera adalah bertentangan dengan ajaran Islam. AkU pernah amalkan yoga ni, sekali jek 10 tahun lepas. Masa tu AkU join so called program motivasi untuk panjat gunung. Aku rasa kelakar pun ada sebab nak panjat gunung punye pasal sampai kene buat yoga haha. Masa tu trainer tu suruh masing2 duduk bersila, pejam mata & temukan ibu jari dengan jari hantu (korang tau kan cammana) pastu kosongkan kotak fikiran jangan fikir apa2 pun sambil tarik nafas sedalam dalamnya. Tak ke leceh banyak bende nak buat dalam satu masa untuk yoga ni, tak campur lagi stok yang kene lembutkan badan, pusing 720 darjah pastu naikkan kedua-dua belah kaki ke atas! Haaahaa korang try buat dulu pastu bagitau AkU. Kalau AkU tak dapat respon korang dalam masa 30 minit, alamatnye......
OK berbalik pada tadi, selepas kosongkan fikiran, dia bagi masa lebih kurang 5 minit utk semua diam sambil pejam mata. Bila dia cakap buka mata, AkU dapat rasakan badan Aku sangat relax dan minda AkU sangat tenang! Serius beb, gile la.. ajaib tak ajaib yoga ni. Jadi pendapat AkU, kalau kita amalkan yoga ni, kita memang akan dapat banyak kebaikan untuk badan dan minda kita, termasuk dapat mengurangkan berat badan. Akan tetapi, sebagai umat Islam, elok kalau kita elakkan amalan ni dan ganti dengan aktiviti2 lain yang beri sama kebaikan tetapi tidak bertentangan dengan akidah kita, orait beb? Oleh yang demikian, hukum yoga adalah haram untuk penganut agama islam.

AkU: Nak jugak tu ayat ending sama ngan tajuk dia hahahaa =P

Only time will tell..

Blog apa yg korang suka baca? Apa blog yang korang akan baca first in the morning? AkU mula jadi pembaca blog tegar ni tahun lepas. Mula2 sekali bila dah tapau breakfast masuk office, AkU akan baca blog MrManager, lepas tu AkU akan bukak blog KlubbKidd. Kalau ada AF AkU akan bukak plak blog SultanMuzaffar. Kalau ada citer gosip artis yang tengah hangat di pasaran, AkU akan baca blog AkuBimbo sbb AkU nak tau apa Saniboey nak cakap. Kalau AkU nak tengok gambar artis (dan yang tak berapa artis tu) kat Red Carpet AkU akan bukak blog Budiey. Kalau dah bosan tahap gaban, dah baca semua blog tapi bosan gak, baru AkU bukak blog Kak Red hehe. Sori Kak Red, Kak Red punya blog mmg best, tp posting Kak Red banyak sangat saya tak sempat catch up =P.
Bercakap tentang blog ni, AkU penah ikut blog TeekayandTeb ni. Kalau korang nak tau, Teekay ni claim yg dia ni gay, Teb ni boyfriend/soul mate dia. AkU suka baca blog ni bukan sbb AkU suka gay okay, tapi sbb AkU kagum dia bole citer pasal lifestyle dia ni in public. Skrg dia claim dia dah mati bunuh diri sbb dia kecewa soulmate dia tinggalkan dia. AkU tak sure betul ke tak, tapi kalau betul AkU sedekahkan Al-Fatihah. So kepada KlubbKidd, MrManager, Budiey, SultanMuzaffar, Kak Red & AkuBimbo saya ucapkan tahniah kerana berjaya menghasilkan blog yang menarik utk orang2 seperti kami ni membaca. AkU bercita-cita untuk menghasilkan blog yg menarik jugak, but only time will tell..

AkU: Tahniah pada Corrie Lee kerana sudah mendirikan rumah tangga dengan pilihan hatinya, semoga terus berkekalan untuk selama2 nya

Communication Skill please.. sighhh

I need to undergo at least one communication skill training, seriously. You see, i 've always encountered a situation where i have done my job correctly, but when my dear colleagues asked several questions for clarification, i suddenly became gagap (*) and i would give junks answer, sometimes it does not even related to the question. So how am i going to prove that 'Hey beb, i 've done my jobs la, you just see the result you'll know already what i've done is very accurate one! Action speaks louder than words, do i need to explain more.. haaa?' Hehe.. but i know in my case, i need to explain each and every single thing line by line and create my own story so that nobody would blame me. But as i am gagap(*), i do not where i have to start and where should i end and the whole thing will become berterabur(*). As the result, they will (always) assume that i have not done my job in correct way. Somebody please... i really need to have the skill now .. or never hehe. And off course, the training must be FOC. Communication Skill .. sighhh

(*) = please help me to replace this malay word into english, i have no time to lookup in google/dictionary =)

Ini bukan Intro

Ini bukan intro. AkU tak suka intro2 ni, buang masa hehe. Blog ini dicipta untuk manusia menulis, dalam kes ni AkU. Tulis la apa2 pun takpe tapi yang penting AkU yang tulis, korang baca je. 'Korang' dalam erti kata lain kalau ada pembaca yang lebih daripada seorang (tapi AkU rasa takkan ada korang pon haha). Blog ni bukan personal, so korang jangan harap AkU nak tulis apa aku buat arini ke, kat mana aku pegi arini ke, pukul berapa aku bangun ke :P. Dah tengok.. baru tulis sket jek AkU dah kering idea ! Takpe takpe, AkU bagi masa sebulan, kalau kering idea jugak AkU tukar hobi jadi mendengar setem, mengumpul radio hahaha. Apa2 pun.. Ini bukan Intro.